Cut Out The Noise
Lessons To Learn From Voluntary Solitude
Introduction
On Episode 8 of The Back To Square One Podcast (Loneliness vs Solitude), I opened up about a time in my life where an involuntary period of isolation taught me the difference between loneliness and solitude. It was right after the height of the Covid19 pandemic where I found myself in repetitive cycles of illness. I had begun my journey of self-discovery and personal development, however, the periods where I found myself sick really seemed to stunt my progress. I was left frustrated at having to spend so much time alone in my apartment. Every time I went online I would see friends out and about, going on holidays, and living what seemed to be exciting lives. On the other hand, my life seemed boring and lonely. The only form of leisure I had came from watching everyone else’s leisure through my phone screen. However, something supernatural happened. My frustration and lack of fulfilment in my experience forced me to return to God. What God ultimately showed me was that being alone doesn’t always have to be an expression of pain; it can be an expression of his glory. This idea was perfectly encapsulated through this quote:
“Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.”
- Paul Tillich (Philosopher)
Therefore things changed when I substituted my screen time for reading books and I traded my binge eating habits for solo walks. I began to see a different version of myself, somebody I started to grow fond of. This was simply because I created an environment that enabled me to hear from God. Hearing from God transforms your mind into thinking differently about yourself. For all the times the voice of loneliness told me “your life is boring”; the voice of solitude told me “your life is growing”. In seasons of being in the wilderness the difference between loneliness and solitude is the voice of God. He never stops speaking, we only stop listening. In order to hear again and experience the peace he offers we must learn how to intentionally cut out the noise that surrounds us in this new post-pandemic world.
Loneliness After The Pandemic
Loneliness increased by 181% during the first wave of the COVID-19 pandemic compared to before it began, rising to 314.5% more than two years into the pandemic (2022)
These statistics are quite shocking and for the most part, a vast majority of people have failed to see how this has affected their lives. The post-pandemic world consists of zoom meetings, online TV subscriptions, online dating, and online church. We have welcomed the busyness of the outside world into our homes through our screens. This only means one thing: more noise. The irony is that the loneliness statistics haven’t gone down since the pandemic which is simply because we have adopted a false sense of companionship by making digital societal interaction the norm.
What this has done is rob people of momentary periods of solace that would have otherwise given them opportunities to think, reflect and hear from God beyond the noise. Alone time would have been alone time but these days alone time is overwhelmed with shallow busyness that tends to keep people in loneliness while denying the opportunity for solace. Therefore in order to change this, one must seek periods of voluntary solitude!
Seeking Solitude Through Dependency
Seeking solitude is a daily practice that will change your life for the better. You can do this by simply taking an hour out of your day and dedicating it to silence, prayer and meditation. What you are doing is giving yourself an opportunity to build fellowship with God. He doesn’t speak through the noise, he will only occasionally shout over the noise in order to shake you up and get you back on to the path of intimacy with him. However, speaking from experience, I can tell you that this is not a pleasant way to be redirected.
The whole notion of loneliness is further driven by the glorification of independence in our society. When God created Adam he said it is not good for man to be alone, so he created Eve (Genesis 2:18). Furthermore, God instructed them to eat from the tree of life and not from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 3:2-3). What this means is that you were never designed to be independent, you were designed to depend on God. Depending on yourself is a non-existent reality too. You are hardwired for dependency which means your soul will always find alternatives other than God to rely on. This is what makes us addicted to all the alternative media sources that keep us lonely and unfulfilled. In order to reset your mind, a non-negotiable period of noise cancellation must be practised daily; otherwise your soul will remain a victim of the hyper digital media toxicity that enables loneliness.
Here are 5 ways you can implement this practice into your life on a daily basis:
Waking up before sunrise and sitting in silence.
Morning walks to start your day.
Evening walks to end your day.
Isolated prayer.
Reading in silence.
These practices aren’t designed to keep you away from people, they are designed to keep you in the presence of God so that you can be better with people.
Solitude to Communion
The whole purpose of seeking solitude is not to stay there. After all we were made to be relational beings designed for interaction with one another. The purpose of solitude is to lead you into communion from a place of peace. However the world has sadly traded this for the perpetual cycle of loneliness that triggers distraction that leads to more loneliness. Many of you might be stuck in this cycle partly because you’re yet to experience the glory that awaits you on the other side. Your fear of being alone shouldn’t drive you to do the things that actually keep you alone. True companionship is found through solitude, in the quiet place with God. This is a peace that stays with you throughout your day; wherever you go, and in whatever you do. Take the example Jesus set. The light of the world, made to be visible, but yet his periods of withdrawal were so important to his calling.
But the news about Him was spreading further, and large crowds kept gathering to hear Him and to be healed of their illnesses. But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray [in seclusion]. Luke 5:15-16
Slipping away into seclusion is an essential practice that is beneficial to all man kind. The science will even back up these claims with overwhelming evidence supporting the following:
Improving Concentration and Memory.
Boosting Your Creativity.
Improving Your Relationships.
Making You More Productive.
Making You More Compassionate.
The purpose of this letter is simple, cutting out the noise and stepping into solitude has to be a daily non-negotiable practice. I would love to know how you implement this into your life individually or if there is anything in particular that is stopping you from doing so.
Take some time out of your day for solace, today!
"Depending on yourself is a non-existent reality too".This line felt like a punch in my gut.
" You are hardwired for dependency" This felt like ice cold water splashed on my face and "These practices aren’t designed to keep you away from people" this statement, well it was the statement that knocked the ball out of the park.
In this season of my life I'm learning to be relational because it's safe to say that I am coming out of a lifetime of idolising solitude and these statements put into perspective things I've struggled with and made connections I had never realised. They've filled up the missing pieces in my understanding of how and why solitude and now I'm excited for the journey ahead.
I started running this week and spending 15 minutes journaling every morning. Still trying to find the right shoes for walking.
Quick question, how do you cut out the noise ? I was intentional about removing myself from a lot of stuff this school year but things keep coming into my schedule and it's almost making me anxious. Any tips or advice?
Thanks for the lessons Kaz
Such a great read thank you for this reminder! I try to have down time for at least an hour dedicated to journaling and reflecting on the past day. I recently started setting aside an hour everyday to read and be intentional about feeding my mind appropriately.